But how are you really?
Updated: Feb 4
I know that I’ve hit that sweet spot of trust with a client when I start a session asking how they are and they start to give the usual “oh, fine” answer we all do when asked this question. But then they stop themselves and they tell me how they really are. Those are the answers I live for as a counsellor! Nothing makes me feel more like I’m doing a good job than when you feel like you can trust me enough to let your guard down.
I want to see your good, your bad, your imperfection. The only way you can make it to our session is unshowered in your pyjamas? Let’s do it. I don’t care if it’s 5 pm. Kids are sick and you can’t leave the house? Let’s switch to virtual so you can have your time, mama. Noisy kids in the background and all.
I know that it can feel hard to keep appointments when you are living with a chronic condition, especially if you feel sick or in pain a lot. Remember that these sessions are for you, and I don’t truly understand your experience unless I see it, so don’t be afraid to bring it into session with you.
You cannot annoy me by complaining about your symptoms, you cannot be a burden on me. As your counsellor, it simply is not possible. It’s my job to hear you, not just to listen, but to really hear you, and help guide you to a better place where things are more manageable and where there are more good days than bad. But I can’t do that if I only see you on the good days.
So, how are you really?